Embracing Change

When I first found out I was pregnant, I begin to "look" into the future and imagine what it would be like when this little one arrived. I pictured hanging out at home, taking walks as a family, going out and about during the day, and just being "us."

It's funny how you don't think about the fact that you can't just get up and go work out or run an errand without it taking 30min or longer to get ready to walk out the door. Nora has decided that it is her way and that's that. I know everyone says that babies will adapt to you and your schedule. Nora does ok with this most days but then I feel we pay for it later. Her evenings are the hardest. Probably because of her colic and tummy issues but I just want to feel like its ok to have someone stay with her so we have feel like adults sometimes. Embracing the change in this part of life has been surprising to me. I am an on the go person and Nora has made me slow down and take it all in. She is 11 weeks old and soon I will go back to work and not have these days with her.


 In the physical aspect of things I thought I would have all of the normal things to come with pregnancy: weight gain, swollen hands and feet, eating more than normal, and hopefully not the dreaded stretch marks!

Before becoming pregnant I was working out and had run the mini for the first time in May. You know me and I am not a runner. When I started training for the mini I couldn't even run a full mile. Very embarrassing to admit but it got me in shape and happy with the way I looked. Well during pregnancy I got the weight gain (I know very normal) and the swollen feet and hands came late in the game. I was so happy that my belly had done great and there were not stretch marks to be seen. Well that changed over night and probably in the 36/37th week of my pregnancy. OMG!! I had made it this far and now they were popping up everywhere. I swear they doubled in amount and size when I entered the hospital to have Nora. I didn't realize how much they would effect me until after delivery and it set in that they weren't going anywhere. It probably didn't help that I had been laying in bed since Wednesday evening, been in labor for 36 hours, and then had a C-Section.  Then had to deal with the recovery process of major surgery and having a newborn that depended completely on myself and her dad. They are still there and I see them everyday. They are getting smaller and lighter in color but they will never truly go away. This means for summer swim suit season I will be buying a one piece or a 2 piece that covers my stomach. I know I should not be upset about these because they came about because of them I got  this precious little girl that I love so much, but it is hard not to be a little upset that they are there. It makes me feel less beautiful and I am trying to work through it because I do not want Nora to ever have a negative self-image or see her parents feel that way either.

I know that it takes time to adjust to this different body and life but its hard  that I still can't wear my wedding ring, or my "old" clothes (which I don't know if those are going on these hips anyway).


So over the past week I have been soul searching, if you want to call it that. I know that the only way to see change is to create it myself. So that is what I need to do. I need to learn to ask for help and realize it is ok if something doesn't get done today. I need to take care of myself and if that means asking someone to watch Nora so I can go to the gym then so be it. I need to be a happy mommy and wife to take care of my family. I need to know that it is ok for me to take time for myself and take time for my husband and I to be a couple as well. Nora is a growing and happy (90%of the time) little girl and she will be ok without me for an hour or so.

I need to learn to embrace this life, body, and mind that God has blessed me with and make it amazing!