Embracing Change

When I first found out I was pregnant, I begin to "look" into the future and imagine what it would be like when this little one arrived. I pictured hanging out at home, taking walks as a family, going out and about during the day, and just being "us."

It's funny how you don't think about the fact that you can't just get up and go work out or run an errand without it taking 30min or longer to get ready to walk out the door. Nora has decided that it is her way and that's that. I know everyone says that babies will adapt to you and your schedule. Nora does ok with this most days but then I feel we pay for it later. Her evenings are the hardest. Probably because of her colic and tummy issues but I just want to feel like its ok to have someone stay with her so we have feel like adults sometimes. Embracing the change in this part of life has been surprising to me. I am an on the go person and Nora has made me slow down and take it all in. She is 11 weeks old and soon I will go back to work and not have these days with her.


 In the physical aspect of things I thought I would have all of the normal things to come with pregnancy: weight gain, swollen hands and feet, eating more than normal, and hopefully not the dreaded stretch marks!

Before becoming pregnant I was working out and had run the mini for the first time in May. You know me and I am not a runner. When I started training for the mini I couldn't even run a full mile. Very embarrassing to admit but it got me in shape and happy with the way I looked. Well during pregnancy I got the weight gain (I know very normal) and the swollen feet and hands came late in the game. I was so happy that my belly had done great and there were not stretch marks to be seen. Well that changed over night and probably in the 36/37th week of my pregnancy. OMG!! I had made it this far and now they were popping up everywhere. I swear they doubled in amount and size when I entered the hospital to have Nora. I didn't realize how much they would effect me until after delivery and it set in that they weren't going anywhere. It probably didn't help that I had been laying in bed since Wednesday evening, been in labor for 36 hours, and then had a C-Section.  Then had to deal with the recovery process of major surgery and having a newborn that depended completely on myself and her dad. They are still there and I see them everyday. They are getting smaller and lighter in color but they will never truly go away. This means for summer swim suit season I will be buying a one piece or a 2 piece that covers my stomach. I know I should not be upset about these because they came about because of them I got  this precious little girl that I love so much, but it is hard not to be a little upset that they are there. It makes me feel less beautiful and I am trying to work through it because I do not want Nora to ever have a negative self-image or see her parents feel that way either.

I know that it takes time to adjust to this different body and life but its hard  that I still can't wear my wedding ring, or my "old" clothes (which I don't know if those are going on these hips anyway).


So over the past week I have been soul searching, if you want to call it that. I know that the only way to see change is to create it myself. So that is what I need to do. I need to learn to ask for help and realize it is ok if something doesn't get done today. I need to take care of myself and if that means asking someone to watch Nora so I can go to the gym then so be it. I need to be a happy mommy and wife to take care of my family. I need to know that it is ok for me to take time for myself and take time for my husband and I to be a couple as well. Nora is a growing and happy (90%of the time) little girl and she will be ok without me for an hour or so.

I need to learn to embrace this life, body, and mind that God has blessed me with and make it amazing!

A little Nora update

Nora is 9 weeks old! I can't believe it. Last week we had our 2 month check up at the doctor and shots. :( I think mom cried more than her. She is 10lbs. 2oz. and 23 and quarter inches long. She is now taking medicine for acid re flu, this is helping so much. It doesn't taste very good but we make it work.  We have moved to mostly 3 month clothes and started using some size 1 diapers. (stop growing young lady geeesh!!!)

She is starting to smile and coo at Michel and I. It is sooo cute!! We are starting to get in a little routine. I am really hoping she starts to sleep through the night soon. It would be a blessing on mine and daddy's sleeping routine. Here are some pictures of the princess :

Happy 2 months to me! Hanging out in my big girl bed!

Mom I don't know about this tummy time thing. I can't see anything really. 

Lady STOP taking my picture and hold me! 

Napping on daddy's pillow..o so sleepy! 

Mother-Daughter Relationships

It seems that I cannot shut my brain off these days. I try my hardest to do so but it just doesn't happen very often. Everyone tells me to sleep when Nora sleeps but as I sit here watching her on the video screen I am awake. I am writing out my thoughts instead. 

Nora is now 9 weeks old. I cannot believe where the time has gone. I feel as if each days slips by faster and faster. Even though she is small I can't help but feel this amazing connection with her. If someone else is holding her she is looking for me and listening for my voice. Her smiles are so precious that they make my heart skip a little beat each time I see one. (Which is becoming more often!) This feeling and some things I have witnessed over the past few days have made me want to write about mother/daughter relationships. 

I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and she is one of my best friends. We talk multiple times a day and she is a person that I strive to be on many levels. She works hard to support and love her family. I want to be this way for Nora as her and I both grow in this new relationship/friendship. My mom and I have of course had our ups and downs (which is normal for any teenage girl and her mother) but in time I have seen that all she did was for a reason: and that reason is ME. To help me become the wife, mother, sister, friend and person I am today. I so badly want this journey with Nora to turn out this way. I know we will have ups and downs but it is for her best interest that they will happen. I lay awake at night and watch her and think: How will we be when she grows up? Will she be proud that I am her mom? Will she trust that she can come to me with her problems and talk about them with me? Will we enjoy doing things together when she becomes a teenager?

My promise to her: that everyday I will show her love, respect, and care for her to the best of my ability. That she will know that she is loved and beautiful always. That she can trust in me and confide in me whenever she needs.